Memorial Day

"'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes" ~James Morrow

I think there's a stereotype among Christian communities in this country that the American soldier is a devout Christian, fighting for the Christian values of a Christian nation. The fact is, most religious beliefs are under-represented in the U.S. military and, what's more, there's a slightly higher instance of atheism:

Well, to be fair, that information is a little dated. It's from the December 2004 edition of Population Bulletin, which is the most recent survey I could find.

But there'd be no reason to be surprised if there were more atheists in the military than in the general population. The problem of theodicy has always been one of the most compelling reasons not to believe in God. That is, how can an all-powerful and benevolent God permit evil to exist in the world? Who has a closer view of the evil in the world than soldiers?

But the Christian soldier myth persists, and nowhere does it manifest itself as stupidly and jingoistically as in the following story:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, '"Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked, stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."

There are so many things wrong with the story, I hardly know where to begin. It's obvious that whoever wrote the story has never attended college, nor are they aware that assault and battery is a crime. But, more importantly, they don't seem to realize how impotent they made their God look. Imagine what the author of this story would say if they had heard a similar story about a professor who challenged Allah to knock him off the podium, and a Muslim knocked him down instead. Or imagine PZ Myers' twist on the story: that instead of a professor, a conservative radio talk-show host asked God to strike him down if sending men to war wasn't righteous.

Anyway, today is Memorial Day. Let's remember that men and women have died not only for our freedoms (including our freedom to reject God and religion), but also for our mistakes and our prejudices. Please click here to see the number of American soldiers God failed to protect.

Thomas Jefferson, Frankenstein, and Sales Tips

Here's a few things that happened today that I might have blogged about at length if they let me blog at work.

1. Texas school books: '...conservatives strengthened requirements on teaching the Judeo-Christian influences of the nation's Founding Fathers..."' Founding Fathers like, for instance Thomas Jefferson, perhaps? You know, one of the drafters of the of the Declarations of Independence and third president of the United States? The guy who advised to "question with boldness even the existence of God"? The guy who coined the phrase "separation of church and state" and advocated for it so strongly?

Just so you know, dickheads, the idea of separation of church and state protects your stupid religious beliefs. The Pilgrims weren't fleeing England because they didn't like the food.

2. Synthetic Life: "Applications of the study include the production of medicines and biofuels, and could even help in the absorption of greenhouse gases." But that comes with a caveat: "Some will worry about the idea that this involves a problematic form of playing God." And that prediction is panning out. There's already a Facebook page dedicated to stopping synthetic life.

My question is, what do we mean by "playing God". Is that the part where we make life ex nihilo, or the part where they stifle scientific progress with their platitudinous moralizing?

3. Today my district manager sent out an email with her "sales tip" of the day: "Views, opinions, and preferences are based on each individual's perceptions and experiences. Listening and acknowledging these do not mean you endorse them." Maybe I'm a little paranoid, but that sounds a like a response to my Pep Talk rant from earlier. OMG! Does my boss read my blog?

Everybody Draw Muhammad

Just a quickie to inform, or remind, everyone that today is the first annual "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day" on Facebook. The Pakistani government has already blocked Facebook and, as an extra measure, has blocked Youtube as well as well as 450 other websites.

My understanding is that, while the Qu'ran itself does not forbid the practice of drawing Muhammad, the practice is generally shunned so as to prevent idolatry (much like the Bible's injunction against graven images). So for Islamic leaders to call "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day" sacrilegious seems to miss the mark because they are, in fact, making an idol out of the Prophet.

But the point of Islam's taking offense at drawing Muhammad has nothing to do with idolatry, I think. Rather it's a way for (yet another) group of conservatives to play on our liberal cultural sensitivities. The point is to either guilt us or cow us into being sympathetic to something that we want no part of.

Fun with Facebook

A new Facebook friend of mine recently updated her status to the following:

"To all my FB friends, just a little note on some of the posts I get: From now on, if you choose to be ghetto, dis my church, or have something to say about my Christianity, if you chose to use profanity or otherwise speak in an manner that is offensive to me, you will no longer be on my list of friends. I don't judge..."

Never mind the paradoxical nature of that last sentence. I didn't want to start any conflicts with this person because I agree that we should comport ourselves civilly on Facebook: one never knows whose boss or children might be reading someone's wall. I'd hate to think that anything I wrote jeopardized a friend's job.

Having said that, I generally do have something to "say about" people's Christianity. If they construe that as "dissing" their church, too bad. (And, isn't saying the word "dis" itself somewhat "ghetto"?)

Listen, "your" Christianity wasn't foisted upon you; you chose it for yourself. Presumably you had reasons for choosing it. If I called those reasons into question, does that really merit de-friending me? I just don't understand people who think their religion is above questioning or criticism. If you can't justify the choices you made, maybe they were bad choices to begin with.

Pep Talk

I hate pep talks. Nothing de-motivates me like a motivational speech. I guess the cynic in me must believe that the cheerleaders are the loudest when the football players are playing their worst. So, when my job had a district meeting, I had to roll my eyes when they passed out copies of the short essay Attitude by Charles Swindoll and then had us read it aloud (as if we were in some remedial English course in junior high).

Something really stuck in my craw about the second sentence of the essay: "Attitude, to me, is more important than facts." When I found out that Swindoll was an evangelical preacher, I realized why it bothered me so much.

To some extent, the essay is okay. I suppose if somebody feels inspired by messages like this, then there's no harm in it. But that second sentence stands out to me as a falsehood; frankly, it's borderline psychotic. Facts are unaltered by my attitude. I can think good thoughts all day, but if, say, I owe the IRS money, then good thoughts or bad thoughts, I need to pay up.

Now the point, you might object, is not that your attitude will change facts, but that your attitude will make unpleasant facts more tolerable. But given that Swindoll is an evangelical preacher, something tells me he wasn't simply suggesting that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't giving advice on salesmanship for my fellow employees either. My hunch is that he was suggesting that all the inconvenient facts about things like the problem of theodicy, evolution, textual and historical criticism of the Bible, the observable ineffectiveness of prayer, and Christianity's mottled track record of moral behavior can all be shrugged off as other people's bad attitude.

So, not only am I not motivated, but I feel like my intelligence has been insulted. Hey, Boss, do you think we can keep Jesus out of our district meetings from here on out? Thanks.

How's that for a bad attitude?